Pie

Me: “Babe, we are finishing up this pie tonight!”

I set the pumpkin pie upon the counter. I feel excited that we have exactly one more hearty slice of pumpkin pie left from Thanksgiving. I’m so ready to drown this thing in a whipped cream typhoon and devour it. But no, first I should finish homework. THEN I will reward myself with this orange slice of heaven.

1 hour later….

Me: *opens refrigerator* “Babe…. where’s the pie?”

Him: “What? I threw it in the trash.”

……..

Me: “wut.”

Him: “You said we were getting rid of the pie tonight! So I threw it in the trash!”

Lord have mercy. Someone COME GET THIS MAN before I set his body on fire.

Me: (very calmly, in my opinion…) “I SAID WE ARE FINISHING THE PIE TONIGHT!!!!! WHY TF WOULD YOU THROW IT IN THE TRASH?? IT IS PERFECTLY GOOD PIE!!!”

So how did we solve this dilemma? Well, we picked the pie out of the trash. It’s still tasty.

As a punishment for his stupidity, Ryan’s pie was served to him on a tiny leaf plate.